A Rigid Scientific Approach to Reduce Undesired Diseases, Mutations, or the Likes (A Satire Interview with Dr. Erlich and his team)
It is well known that Russian and Germans contributed much to scientific research in World War II. Naturally, Americans back then are just "not as scientific as Europe" in general on mass scale. Medical experiments, information, and information gatherings were well known throughout the fascism in Europe.
There is a recent, latest proposal on DNA Sudoku in genotyping.
Eldridge: How does this work?
Dr. Erlich: It is very much similar to Sudoku number. We divide the blocks into sequences for A,T,G,C pool to determine the mutation factors in diseases among Jewish community, such as cystic fibrosis, from medical records.
Eldridge: Wait, wait. Slow down. Are we going to purge those people and other ethnicities on American lands.
Dr. Erlich: No. We collect samples, and test the mutation factor on DNA Sudoku.
Eldridge: Let me get this straight. May I proceed?
Dr. Erlich: Yes.
Eldridge: You're attempting to genotype each individual for a purpose of genome sequencing.
Dr. Erlich: Yes. You see, we want to eliminate diseases and undesired genes.
Eldridge: That is a logic approach, I suppose. What did Hannon mean by overcome the sequencing limitation?
Dr. Erlich: Detect and deter the mutations that cause genetic mutations.
Eldridge: In another word, cancers.
Dr. Erlich: That is one of examples.
Eldridge: Sex is a disease.
Dr. Erlich: No, that *clear throats*. No, that is an exchange of gray matters.
Eldridge: There is supposedly a "fifth" DNA sequence. A brain allele that is supposedly of higher DNA order of some kind. How does that fit in DNA Sudoku picture?
Dr. Erlich: That is undermined by gender factor.
Eldridge: What about left-handed? Right-handed? From what I know, left-handed is more prone to diseases and influenza. Otherwise, everything else is just a psychology.
Dr. Erlich: In some cases, yes. There are both benefits to both side. With DNA Sudoku, we can also multiplex and mix samples, or make a hundred of sequences from a sample.
Eldridge: So how do you identity an individual?
Dr. Erlich: We use bar codes.
Eldridge: What about insurance companies?
Dr. Erlich: That is confidential business information.
Eldridge: Wait, wait. Don't let me stop you there. So you are deciding whether if patient's economics is to be determined by his or her genetic information. Bad DNA, and that patient's life is alienated by poverty. Good DNA heritage, that patient's life won't be picking up a phone from any medical insurance company.
Dr. Erlich: I assure you, there is nothing to be concerned about. With DNA Sudoku, the costs can save us millions of dollars.
Eldridge: .....Millions of taxpayer dollars? To insurance companies or larger bio-informatics corporations? Intel corporation, maybe? Devour the money lives out of Americans?
Dr. Erlich: I can't say that. It is a business policy for me to-
Eldridge: Cut the bull. Ok, so I don't want to lose you in an argument. Just how efficiency is this DNA Sudoku?
Dr. Erlich: Once technical and methods are improved, over time we would be able to apply more wider applications.
Eldridge: Ok, I'm trying to think. There are bad and good mutations. How do you make a perfect human being with good mutations from education of bad mutations? Suppose I skip the Nazi block to add an extra column and row. That central, corner cell could turn a human into bad, malformation experiment. Otherwise, we leave the research intact, and Humans will probably be a little advanced 1,000 years later.
Dr. Erlich: I assure you, diseases can be eliminated.
Eldridge: Suppose someday you eliminate a mutation that happen to eliminate the penis organ itself. Or nipples from human males.
Dr. Erlich: I'm pretty sure that penis is not a result of mutation. It is everywhere in animal kingdom.
Eldridge: Eh, you have a point there. What about the differences in mutations between our close chimp cousins and present Humans? Or Perhaps between Neanderthals and Neo-Humans?
Dr. Erlich: That certainly can be compared.
Eldridge: That's my problem, really. When you mix the sequences in the Nazi Sudoku cell block, how do you know which indicator colors to turn off? And switch on? Maybe switch one could lead to more mutations, regardless of on or off. I mean, you can just pretend to move a block in any Nazi cell one row further or a column further, and dismiss previous one, to sequence a disease. An insect work. You could be making thousands of new diseases. How can someone deal with that?
Dr. Erlich: Information Technology department handles the genome information.
Eldridge: Wait, IT? Does that mean- Ok, never mind, so I don't want to get there. We still don't know what happened to Michael Jackson. Is there any way can you collaborate on the story of Michael Jackson's death and latest news of DNA Sudoku approach next day? Suppose you do get DNA Sudoku run smoothly on the marketplace, are you the ultimate god over any patient's life with DNA information?
Dr. Erlich: No, I try to decide what is the best for patients.
Eldridge: Profits from deaths?
Dr. Erlich: No, look, I am a trained professional-
Eldridge: Cut the crap. I'm moving on fast. Where did this idea come from?
Dr. Erlich: A 2,000 years old Chinese cryptology-
Eldridge: Wait. Cryptology? This is ridiculous. DNA Sudoku based on a 2,000 years old math theorem? Are you insane? Them Chinese people are clueless. They can't tell a poison from cure. They even used the Latin and ancient Greek for scientific names.
Dr. Erlich: *voice raising* Look, I think this interview is over. Goodbye.
Eldridge: There are other stuff you didn't answer directly-
*dialed up*
TTY OPERATOR F 9615493: Another call QQ
Eldridge: No, thank you. SK SK.
No comments:
Post a Comment